This week on Paulina and Derlis Podcast we talk about difference between New Yorkers and Cali people. If girls should have body hair, checking out juicy peaches, passing judgment, and much more.
This week on Paulina and Derlis Podcast we talk about difference between New Yorkers and Cali people. If girls should have body hair, checking out juicy peaches, passing judgment, and much more.
I feel like these people. They're very grounding. And they're like okay, what is it that we can figure out right now? Right, instead of me like worry about the past or the future. None of them exists. It's been, they happen or it will happen eventually. We have right now. So I like their mentality and I really thought I could connect to California in a lot of ways, and I've been to San Diego once and to LA three times and I would not live in LA but like somewhere in between.
Speaker 3:LA and San Diego. It's funny that you say that one of my exes was from Cali. I loved her. She's like some flower, I swear to God. Yeah, just a star. Oh, I love it and yeah, I mean, damn, it really is California. People are really special. They are I think so, they really are. It's just like I feel like I get that from, if I had to say from my Costa Rican.
Speaker 3:Like Roots is just like you know, like just love and just like caring. But New Yorkers care just in a different way, you know, it's just more like strict way. I would say in a roaster ass way yeah, direct, what the fuck are you doing? Come on, get up, would you couple?
Speaker 1:I think that's what she liked about me.
Speaker 3:Yeah like it was so funny. There was a situation where we were trying to get to a spot in Brooklyn and as we're going down, like then I order some Uber rides just because it's starting to rain, and then like, oh something like this Uber rider, just like just driver, just doesn't like. I see him pass by but he doesn't stop. So I'm on the phone with them and I'm just like yo boss, what's going on Like why'd you do it?
Speaker 3:Like like she's like yo chill, like I'm just like no, no, no, no, what the fuck is up? Like he starts just like cursing me out and just say, yeah, like the whole situation. Just just pull up, bro, Just pull up.
Speaker 1:I'm right here, like a lot of patients. Yeah, oh my.
Speaker 3:God, Like I couldn't stand that shit. It was just like, it was fun. It was a funny situation because at the end of the like she was worried about like, like. But it was also just funny because she just saw that side of me and just like, nah, let's go, I don't care, it's like like you're wasting time.
Speaker 1:I definitely think New Yorkers are very proactive where it's like all right, if shit has to get done, shit gets done. Like generally speaking. Obviously not everyone is the same, but I think we're very impatient with a lot of things.
Speaker 3:I remember going to like what are you doing over there, buddy Sorry? I feel, like you're important to make this computer thing work. Ah, okay, the core that picked out is giving all fuzzy. Okay, I'm just kidding. Yeah, you don't like fuzziness.
Speaker 2:Sometimes, fuzzy is good. You guys might not like it.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I saw a girl with pubes and I was like the first time ever. What, yeah, like? I was just like you're like the fuzziness, I just like that's where it just goes. I was like yo, I actually like a full bush, like I don't mind it, it's just like I never thought about it. I was just like because usually I'm just like yeah, I like clean. But then I was like no, like if it's trimmed it's cool, like let's, let's play in the grass.
Speaker 1:Dirty mind?
Speaker 3:I can't yeah, I thought my mind is dirty, but yeah, the only thing I can't stand is like armpit hair.
Speaker 1:I.
Speaker 3:I like I can't, I can't do it.
Speaker 1:It's weird.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Definitely like a hippie kind of vibe.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but like I'm like you know, if you have some hairs I get it Like it's that you know, like you're busy.
Speaker 1:I completely get it, but like I'm talking about like, like yo, you got what I got. Like, no, like I mean it smells when you have hair too, like I feel like sweat gets trapped on, like on the outside and then it just like adds scent to it, and I personally can't stand that either.
Speaker 3:Is there a way to like musk, then what's musk?
Speaker 1:Musk is like the odor of a guy like sorry, my Polish ass does not, you know, understand sometimes yeah, Like like think of post Malone.
Speaker 3:He smells musky right Probably. Yeah, I've seen him live.
Speaker 2:He's sick by the way. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:But, I see what you mean, so like natural pheromones. Yeah, exactly Like, like not not exactly like a pleasant smell. Oh, there's the sound, there you go.
Speaker 2:Well, it's coming out the wrong thing, but yes, could you?
Speaker 3:pause it for a second.
Speaker 2:Two seconds Thanks.
Speaker 3:So so, do you like, do you enjoy musk, or do you not?
Speaker 1:No, I mean, it depends, right, like if you are a smelly man, no, like that just proves to me that your hygiene is off and I don't care, like, just like you guys don't like you know poor females with poor hygiene. Same goes for us.
Speaker 3:We don't really like that, that's fair. But like, that's where it lies. The difference is just like you know, like, like, oh, you're a little smelly, but I like your smell, like your sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know what you mean. So funny because.
Speaker 2:I know you and Musk are two different things. Who are elaborate? Victor, One sweater, one's pheromones.
Speaker 1:Right, Right. So I was. I've always been told that I personally have like a unique pheromones to me?
Speaker 2:Yeah, obviously I can't smell it.
Speaker 1:But like everybody always like, like. They ask me, like do you have perfume on? And like typically I do, but like sometimes I don't, and they're like, you smell so good. I'm like really, and you know me.
Speaker 3:I use all the natural. You took care of yourself, though, too, on top of all of that, I guess.
Speaker 1:But even my dad when I was little. He always kept on telling me like you have a specific scent to you, like pheromone, and I'm like I wish I could freaking smell it, you know. Okay, so I know that everybody has their own like personal smell, even when you do laundry. Like I remember, you know the guy that I was talking to. For a couple months he came over, he wasn't from New York, he was from another state and he was doing laundry and, like you would think, you would think he's doing laundry and whatever.
Speaker 3:If you do the full start. But I'm going to keep it there, I'm going to expose this story of actually on here, fair, fair, fair.
Speaker 1:I don't care Like honestly I got though Now you're part three.
Speaker 3:Part three, okay, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's too spicy for you guys, but he was doing a freaking laundry and you know, same detergent. I use the same detergent and then he would still freaking smell like it. The laundry would still smell like him. So I don't know what it is, but it's awesome. I think, like your natural scent is beautiful. It makes you so I'm all about it, but don't fucking smell like shit.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, you know what was one of my favorite moments, and it was. It was very touching overall. It was a me and my mom went up up to the attic to move some boxes and stuff like that and she found an old box filled with my grandfather's shirts, yeah. Exactly, and I just remember her like grabbing the shirts and just smelling them and like her just tearing up Tearing up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it was so sad and beautiful at the same time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know like when you miss somebody that much and you know you love somebody and it's nice, but I think smell is definitely one of the again just muted your computer. This guy but just I think smell is one of the most powerful things, that especially brings up memories.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:I agree with you. And it's, it's music smell and then sometimes just like, whatever you see, it gives you like the nostalgia. Yeah, I know Salja, and like oh, I have a deja vu, deja vu, deja vie. How do you say? Deja vu deja vu, deja vie.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've never heard of the. I've never heard anybody say deja vu.
Speaker 1:He said like where did we find this chick?
Speaker 3:I would be definitely throwing a can or beer at somebody's head. Deja vu, yo listen. There's more to be fought for these when.
Speaker 1:I come up with the most random shit Sometimes the sir.
Speaker 3:I enjoyed it, though I definitely enjoy it.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, all right, what we got.
Speaker 3:Well, let's go to one of the questions here that we've put ourselves through. Vic, you have specific intro. No, no, no, I'm just going to cut in what up, like I think the story is.
Speaker 1:Should we say like a welcome back or something? I mean, it's too late for that.
Speaker 3:So I'm like, I'm not going to, I'm just going to. I'm just play the intro and then just going to go right in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what kind of intro do we have? Do we have an intro?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's just going to be the logo and then just crossfade in, just.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's it. Do we put like a music to it?
Speaker 3:Nope, okay, nope, okay. I'm keeping it so basic. I'm just like you came here for the story. Yeah, paulina Victor, what more do you need? John Cena, like, yeah, if I can get John Cena in here one time, imagine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how great is that man. He's great. We're going to do that.
Speaker 3:We're going to get just drooling there with your eyes.
Speaker 1:Maybe not going to miss that, but that's a married man, whatever, oh does it stop the lead? Yeah, no, no, no, like that. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's bad karma, oh what?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't think I wrecked homes, but I definitely mess with married women Like.
Speaker 1:Right. Well, so it's partially home wrecking too, I mean. So, okay, good topic to talk about because I okay, so I've got my home wrecked, twice, two different relationships and I've hated these chicks like I've hated them. I'm like cuz I'm such a girls girl and I don't agree with that like, if you know someone is taking, just get out, like get out of the way. Like, no matter what that men in my case, obviously, and no matter what my man is telling you if he's leaving Me or he's not leaving me, like, what are you doing? Like this is a bad karma. I believe in karma because I've seen what karma has done to people that have hurt me Specifically. Um, so I just don't understand why you know people yeah, my Polish class come out when that shit happens so.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in high school I will shut your shit down, with just me speaking.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I just have great arguments for people that like, and then they don't know what to say, you know it's one of those things.
Speaker 1:So I got I don't know, maybe, cuz I just talk a lot I've learned to fucking have like those strong comebacks that people mm-hmm, that make also sense and make them think so they're no longer want to fight me in the way, but um, yeah, if it comes to home working, I never understood it and I I've always blamed that girl for that. But then recently I started analyzing it and cuz, like I'm on this journey to like dive deeper into my soul and kind of rediscovered myself and and find my purpose again and I Realized that it's really not the girl, it's the person that you with. That's the person who decides to home wreck his own relationship or her own relationship, and they should be the ones that respect you enough not to go that route, you know, and clearly that means that there's no communication or that there has been a communication but nothing has been resolved. And at this point there's two people holding on to each other for what, like when you wanted to go and cheat.
Speaker 1:At this point, like your relationship is over. I'm sorry, like I don't know. If you've tried to communicate. Let's say you have, but the other parties not on the same page. What are you guys doing together. I don't know about you, but time is money for me and time is super valuable and I was in a relationship with someone who Wouldn't let me go because I'm a catch, because I'm a trophy, but like you, can't, trophy, trophy.
Speaker 3:What did I say? Well, she was a trophy. I appreciate that no, no, no, you were in a moment.
Speaker 1:That's when the accents come on wait until I'm angry, and when I'm like, oh my god, then it's like half Polish, half English.
Speaker 3:But I guess that's part of the reason why we need headphones here, Victor you know, Between.
Speaker 1:But anyways, continue, continue so yes, so I just realized recently that you know it's that person, and and and I was in a relationship where you know someone knew that I was I don't want to say out of their league, because I don't believe in that really like.
Speaker 3:Really I do, I mean, I mean what?
Speaker 1:look wise. Okay, I don't look at the looks, though.
Speaker 3:I do, she's fat or that. But like, if she ugly, like ugly, I'm not gonna like, let's go.
Speaker 1:Obviously looks have a lot to do, especially nowadays, but you know.
Speaker 3:I.
Speaker 1:Listen, we all have eyes. Nothing wrong with that as long as you don't take action.
Speaker 3:Oh, but no, I've done the eye thing. Sometimes I've been like that was a little bit too much heavy eyes. But that was juicy.
Speaker 1:Juicy peach for sure. It's so funny. I see that shit all the time and it actually makes me laugh.
Speaker 3:You seem dudes, just like hip-hop.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, yeah, they like look at you and I'm like wow, do you want to? Just like come to my like at my face, jesus.
Speaker 3:My face.
Speaker 1:Come at my face anyway, jesus Christ, paulina, god be with me today but that's definitely a real right there. I'm just like come at her face. Shit, don't make. Don't mess my makeup up, please don't mess it up but yeah.
Speaker 1:So I I do believe that once you are Ready to cheat, like just let go. Like just let go, cuz you're gonna damage that person, especially someone like me. I'm a really like, I'm a big fighter, like if I love you and I will be your right or die and I will fight for you. You know, and you know I'm not saying I forgive every single Mistake. But if it's a one-time thing, I am willing to see past this if you are willing to put in hard work to redeem yourself in a way and Rebuild the trust. But if it's again and again, that's not a mistake, that's a choice. So there is no forgiving anymore.
Speaker 1:And if you're holding on to me like that, you're just, you're just selfish, you're a narcissist and it happened to me and I think that's that's like the most damaging thing to do To hold on to someone and not let go of them. And that's what I mean. Like when you know, not necessarily someone's out of your league, but when you know already that you've tried, let's say you've tried everything and the relationship is still not going the way you want it to go, like you need to sit down and be honest with each other like hey, where are we going like this? We've been arguing for the past year. We haven't had sex in so long, like which is huge? Like being intimate obviously is huge part of the relationship.
Speaker 1:What Nothing? It just you know. I think at some point you have to just be honest and have enough respect for the other person to not waste their time anymore, because I'm sorry, but you fucking know if you are still in love with someone and if you are, you are not gonna go and cheat, and If you're not, you're gonna go and cheat. And then what? Like hope she's not gonna find out or he's not gonna find out. I'm a fucking detective. I will find out everything. I just choose not to sometimes Because it does you're a shitty detective, then no, I can.
Speaker 1:I can find out a lot of things.
Speaker 3:I'm choosing not to.
Speaker 1:Well, so think about it this way, like if I don't have a choice right now and.
Speaker 1:I have to stay in a relationship. Me finding out more is just gonna hurt me more at the moment and you know, like I already know I have to leave, right, like so me finding out more is just gonna put me down even more and it's gonna break me down and it's gonna take me so much longer to build myself up again After I leave the relationship. So I chose not to want to know more. You know, like, when you ready to leave, you know enough. And then typically, after leaving someone else, it's like million people all of a sudden come to you like, oh, he's done this and that and this and that. I'm like I don't want to fucking hear it. I don't want to hear it Like I know he was in faithful. I know you know he was selfish and narcissistic.
Speaker 3:Narcissistic is that the word? Look?
Speaker 1:at my go. Yeah, I did, there you go. But what do you think like? What do you think about? Just like holding on to relationship, because this was the feedback I received, like, hey, I didn't want to hurt you more by letting you go, and I'm like, no, no, no, you got this wrong. Like that's the most fucking selfish thing you could have done. And you did it. You know you held on to me. No, you can't give me what I'm looking for, knowing I deserve more, you know. So, just curious, unlike a male perspective male perspective on this one I mean, I'm not even sure.
Speaker 3:I don't think I've ever been put in that kind of predicament. Unfortunate, or fortunately enough, I Because it was just I. You know, whenever I came down to that I did do messy breakups where it's just like we ended it, where it's just like I Started the breakup and I was like I yeah, they're virtually broke up with me, but you know, like that's, that's at the same time, just like where I feel I was just like I've never done, I feel like the breakup itself from me like on your own.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, I mean like I've done it, but it's just like I've come back from, you know, from the decision yeah. Yeah, yeah, but eventually we ended up ended it and just like a mutual kind of way of just like trying to respect each other's. So I've never been cheated on.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, I guess that's that's. Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 3:It's just that I know of, like the one relationship I felt like it did happen. You know it was super toxic. You know this is like she thought I was cheating on her and I was like I'm never cheating any way.
Speaker 1:I had opportunities to, but you know they question you when they do something shady though.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean like she. It was at the end of it, so I definitely felt that, but luckily I chose to just always be faithful.
Speaker 1:You know, like.
Speaker 3:So I was just like you know, I that same thing that you said is just like. I never want to hurt somebody Because of that. Like you know, like if I want to make that decision right, I need to end it before all that like you have that respect for that person.
Speaker 3:Enough, you know. But then again I'm also the type that, like I Backed out from fucking a hooker like which I felt I felt weird at the time, you know, Just for for doing that I was in Costa Rica and then, like I was in Haco, which is a In Costa Rica, like you're allowed to be a hooker but or prostitute, I should say whatever term you prefer Sex worker or positive, but like no pinch loud so, but no pimps, okay, sure, whatever, but so funny.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know it's always so weird when those moments come up, but I was at a club and then I didn't realize because I was so young, but like then all these girls are prostitutes. And then, like you know, eventually I figured it out very easily. Like my buddy was like, yeah, like, and then I've heard they're wild there. Yeah, I mean like they're just like yo. I'm trying to get money right now.
Speaker 3:So you know, won't talk me up, because they're like strippers and it's like you know. Let me talk to you for a little bit. Let me waste some time at least and see if you, if you good or anything like that. And I decided to go with her, took a taxi back to the hotel that she she would just do her business the transaction.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but at the time I just I couldn't go through with it because it felt the real feeling of it was because I Didn't feel anything like it just felt like there's no connection. Yeah, it just literally like the game was sucked out of this. It was like no fun it was. I'm just here to the business.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can't even imagine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I Just backed out from and she was very sweet though. She was just like, ah, don't worry about it. Like I paid for the cab, but like you know she would like, do you want some money for your time? I know like I took you away from, so yeah, but at the end of it I just ended up just like, okay, let me just dip, and went back to my hotel and just slept, and so that I think that's where I realized I was just like there's something more like when it comes to like a relationship.
Speaker 3:Yeah yeah, that too, and I was just like you know, like that connection is so much so much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, see, like I kind of like because of my experiences with men, which haven't been great, um, I mean they have been great experiences but like relationship-wise, I just feel like guys, you know, have a better Um, how do I say it? Like they they can easier detach their emotions from sex, not saying that you know it's their best sex ever, right, but like they actually can have sex Without putting so much emotion in it. And like I know girls are wild nowadays and they kind of Started to learn to do the same. But for me, someone who comes from culture, someone who comes from, um, you know values and morals and all that stuff, like for me, always it's been about connection. Like you don't give your body to somebody, the random person. I don't know if I talked about it with you before, but energy exchange when you have sex is huge and women typically are the ones that absorb energy and then men are the ones that give out energy. So they do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a lot of fucking energy, Three pumps baby.
Speaker 3:Like what? Those are great pumps.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, it's so funny. Listen I give you guys a lot of props for just holding out yeah.
Speaker 3:It's so easy being a girl, just like, okay, okay okay. Just like, but like, just like. A dude, just like, has to be in that focus zone. It's just like okay, don't come, don't come, it's just like it's just like I would never judge, I know that there's, I wouldn't you wouldn't.
Speaker 1:No, because it's a compliment to me. Like if you don't last, that means that I'm doing something right. Like we can go again and again, and again.
Speaker 3:Like I definitely want to be pleased, but what happens if the dude is just like done and just false?
Speaker 1:Oh no, then you're cut, you're done, You're done for All right hold on, I don't know. Like, know yourself, know your body as a man. Like, if you can't last, you better take care of me first, you know I mean, and then you can go to bed. That's fine. But like, if I'm not, if I'm not satisfied, then I'm not letting you go to bed. So you're gonna figure it out, yeah, or I'm gonna have to bring my rose and then he's gonna be jealous because my rose oh, really I would.
Speaker 3:I love when women just play in front of me. I'm just like I crave that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean and, and, and. It helps sometimes in situations Is? You know, some people love to have drunk sex, like I. Personally have a hard time, you know, doing anything when I'm drunk, so yeah, so the rose will help sometimes.
Speaker 3:You know, when things happen like somebody told me, like ice, did she throw some ice in there?
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, yeah yeah, Just uh. I mean, I've played with ice before.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's always a good time.
Speaker 1:It's a the lessons the experiments are always great, but speaking of just like guys and detachment, emotional, detachment I feel like you guys have a easier time doing that than women because we are more emotional. Like men are emotional too, you guys obviously hide the emotions better. But from me, like I always, I've never been into like a one night stand. I think I felt disgusting.
Speaker 1:That's just beautiful. Yeah, I might have had like four one night stands in my life and I'm 29 years old and I hated myself. Every single time afterwards I was like what the hell are you doing? Like your body is so much more valuable than just giving some random dude that you're not even going to see Like okay, just because he has a nice smile. Like what the hell, polina I mean granted, I was younger, you know, and I've gotten that out of my system and I'm smart enough to you know reflect on things like that and experience it.
Speaker 3:Polina, you're ruining it for the rest of us right now. What? Giving us knowledge? No, no, no, we got to cut this. No, no, but I mean, I'm sure people can relate, you know there's a lot of girls that you know.
Speaker 1:I talk to women every day. You know I have a big community of like other women and we empower each other and we talk about stuff like that and I have not heard any like positive feedbacks from females that just go and have sex and don't put emotion in it. At some point you're going to have emotion with that person. You know you're going to be connected with that person because it's your body, it's sensation Like sex is huge. Yeah, energy is huge during sex and I think like I could never like go and just get like a man. I don't even know if they have men hookers today.
Speaker 3:They do. Oh shit, I'm like old school. They're called jiggalos. Yeah, that is hilarious.
Speaker 1:I remember going to Magic Mike show in Las Vegas and like all these girls were like oh my God. And I'm like laughing my ass off the whole time because I'm thinking it's so gay. I'm sorry, I just think it's really yeah. Like all these men like no men dance like that. I'm sorry. No real men will go and like dance like Magic Mike. Half of them are gay and I love gay guys.
Speaker 3:You're gonna get cancer by male strippers everywhere, just like this girl. We ain't gay over here, no.
Speaker 1:I'm saying like most of them, I mean from what I've seen on, like being there at the show, like the show was amazing, the performance was amazing, but like I would like gay guys with you. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh, that makes sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and on stage, like I could tell like you can sometimes sense it, especially someone who was part partially gay at some point.
Speaker 3:Your gay are his own point. Yeah, partially gay, and I love gay people, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 1:Like I'm not sitting here and saying anything bad about the gay people, but I'm saying like I don't know, like a men dancing like that to me is funny. Like I would rather go to a female strip club than to a male strip club? I don't know, it's just so. Have you been to female strip clubs. Oh yeah, plenty of times I smack some ass. Most of the times.
Speaker 3:I swear women have the best time at strip clubs here, I love strip clubs. Cause strip clubs like all the strip girls will straight go to you right away. It's just like oh yeah, hell yeah, let me go dance on this girl just because it's fun and it's just like and most of them are lesbian Like. But I will say one of the strippers gave me one of the best pieces of advice. That, like, it was heartbreaking, it was such a bittersweet moment. I was just like yeah, From a strip park.
Speaker 3:Just like you know like I love being in that mood.
Speaker 3:Just like the dirt of it all. But yeah, I was at the strip club and it was either Halloween or around Christmas, funny enough. And then, like I didn't have any money, I was just in there just for my buddies and wanted to throw some, so they were thrown down. And then, like this one stripper came to me just like you know, like she, can I sit down? I was like like I didn't want to ruin it, like you're working, like so I'm just going to let you know I'm broke.
Speaker 1:It's fucking right now, not your guy, yeah.
Speaker 3:Like I'm just letting you know right now. And then she ended up no, no, no, we can just sit and chat. I was like cool, all right, sure.
Speaker 1:What did you say?
Speaker 3:So she just talked to me about her life and everything experiences and just was the sweetest kind of person you know. Obviously you know they can act that way, you know they're strippers, but like you know I I then I told her I was like, oh man, I could fall in love with you, kind of thing like that. And then she, she just told me, like you don't want to fall in love with someone like me. And that's when I was like oh yeah, just like they're people too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they are. I don't. I don't hate on the hustle. Like whatever you got to do, there's so many strippers that have gone to medical school because they didn't have support from their parents or any other support.
Speaker 3:So single moms, single moms out there, yeah, invest in properties Like.
Speaker 1:I know a few strippers like that, so I don't hate on the grind and if you're beautiful like go ahead and do whatever you got to do. You know what I mean. Like I would never be like that. I'm a girl's girl. That's that's why I don't ever. You know, I want to listen to your story before I start judging. I think that's that's like. I mean, you shouldn't judge, period. But I'm saying like open up your story and then, explain to me why.
Speaker 1:You know you're doing what you're doing, not the you have to, but you know when we're talking like. I would want to hear why did she make that decision? Because I think it's super interesting and you never know what people have been dealing with. So you don't want to be rude. You know that's so sad.
Speaker 3:But you know I love a strip club, just like the vibe there. I really do the colors there, like I was telling Victor, because I don't think he's ever been to a strip. You never been to a strip club, right? Oh no, shut up. His wife, his wife, his wife, his wife. She's going to see this and she's coming up. I don't think I have.
Speaker 2:I mean I've gone to a ton of parties because of my work. Right, so I've been, I've even done sound for a male strip show once.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, 89 North and Patch Hook. Oh, my God, I love it.
Speaker 2:It's hysterical.
Speaker 1:It's funny, right, it's hysterical, it's so funny, it's like what is this real life right now, yeah, and then these girls are like oh the girl's wilder than the guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm like sitting there.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh my God, this is so funny, Like I'm just laughing my ass off.
Speaker 3:I want to treat this man down with my money. Oh my gosh, it's good, but it's. I like strip club vibes and I was telling Victor, it's like if you ever watched like something like John Wick and stuff like that, yeah, that's the vibe, yeah it's the colorization, but those are like prestigious strip clubs Elegance.
Speaker 1:You know, it's next level.
Speaker 3:But you would never know that if you've never been in that atmosphere. Right, you know, and that's why I just feel, like you know, I would like to go Africa and see, like you know, even like the scoundrel places that are, just like yo, it's dangerous here. You know, there are actually like war tours that you can do, like yeah, like they'll take you to like a war and like try to bring you through the safest parts of the war. That's so scary, yeah.
Speaker 3:So you just see people killing themselves, like each other. It's just like yeah, that's an act.
Speaker 1:Who wants that?
Speaker 3:shit. Yeah, I mean like that is so cruel. Like there's also, like you know, war documentary, like that people have to go and like I'm going to photograph, like each side. So obviously, like there's, there's legalities on it, and then there's people that are just like, oh, I just want to see motherfuckers kill each other. Oh my God, yeah, of course like all different kinds of people, but like it's crazy it's. I think it's important to go see like Different things like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the dirt that is the world you know, and it's just like you know, like I've been to poverty stricken play like slums, yeah, and I've been to the movies to see kids and stuff like that. Some of them are happy.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's very humbling, yeah, and that's you know not to to be in my privilege or some shit like that, but like if you're not grateful for what you've got, I mean like like you should be like, yeah, so in Poland we have speaking of war, we have Auschwitz like the camp, and I remember like part of history when you're a kid is to go there and visit and they bring you have like a special tour guide who brings you like underneath the ground and shows you like certain things and you I just remember seeing like baby's hair, baby's shoes, like small kids just left.
Speaker 1:I don't, I can't even speak on it because it's so bad, but it was one of the most like humbling experience, even as a like I think I was 11 or 12 maybe and just like brings you down to earth. You're like, oh my God, I'm so blessed with what I have right now, you know.
Speaker 2:Absolutely so.
Speaker 1:I do believe I agree with you. I do believe that you're going to be exposed to some form of a dramatic or traumatizing experiences like that to bring them down to earth because we're freaking lucky to even be here. You know to wake up, and it really comes down to smallest things to be grateful for it, especially when things are not going your way. You know how your brain is like programmed to find problems everywhere. I feel like that's obviously natural and we all deal with this, and especially when things are not going your way, all you see in the world and around you is negativity. So I've learned to just like sit down and be like okay, pulling us, nothing's going your way. Let's just try to think about things that are going your way.
Speaker 1:And it's so hard, and sometimes you sit there and like what the hell am I great for? Today, Bitch, you woke up, like what? And I like yell at myself. I'm like it really comes down to the basics. I feel like all of us chase so much, so many things, and it's good, you know. But sometimes you need to just like calm down, slow down, be grateful for what you have already, for who you have in your life, Like, for instance for me. You know, I'm from Poland and my entire family is in Poland.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I sit there and I'm like, especially when I was sick last week, I was like, oh my God, like where's my mom, Like I just want my mom you know, and I was emotional, I started crying but then, like, that was so ungrateful because I have an amazing roommate, mason, who was taking care of me, you know like, and I have a best friend who called me every single day and offered to drive me to the hospital if things get worse and she's pregnant. And I was like, bitch, you're not going to hospital, I'm protecting that baby for, you know, forever. That's going to be an auntie soon. I'm so excited. But you know, I was sitting here complaining that I don't have a family here supporting me. Some people don't even have alive parents, you know, and I do have support. It's not the support I sometimes want, but it really comes down to just being grateful for who you have already. Jesus, that just got deep.
Speaker 3:Yeah, dude, but it's good, it's crazy stuff.
Speaker 2:Dude to stuff that.
Speaker 3:Well, that's what I want this podcast. You know we go through the rollercoaster.
Speaker 1:Waves.
Speaker 3:But this is a great transition that you just brought up, because you know what Our sponsor no.
Speaker 1:We do need a sponsor.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we do we do but, aside of that though, like about being broke though, because I know we want to discuss a little bit about when you've been at your worst. You got no sense in you, right yeah. So what has been one of the worst times when you've been broke? You made it through and made you a better person. I'm sure you know.
Speaker 1:I think it was the time when I actually was recently cheated on in my first serious relationship in America with a woman and she just decided to kind of like pack her shit and go and I was left behind with living on my own, paying all the you know rent by myself no, mommy wasn't there to help me utilities on my own.
Speaker 1:Then at the moment I was still on student visa so I couldn't legally work. So I was kind of like depending on her financially until I was gonna get my green card and be able to permanency card for those who don't know and be able to legally finally live and work in America. So my hands were tight and I couldn't really do anything and the only income I had was from Beachbar down the road on Friday nights. You know I was a jealous shop girl. That was obviously cash business and that was the only night I was working. So I remember not only I was dealing with the heartbreak but also just like super broke, like I did not have money to pay for rent next month and I was just like ready to pack my shit and go home. Like I was like who's gonna help me?
Speaker 3:So what's that for? What's that for you? Like made that like oh, gotta go, I'll get it together yeah.
Speaker 1:So I was like okay, you came to America to prove yourself that you can. You can do this on your own Okay.
Speaker 1:Like that has been always a challenge. I've always, because I've always had emotional support from my parents. But I, you know, and that's that that was very hard for me in America. Like I was looking for that emotional support and I tend I'm I used to just kind of like depend on my partner emotionally and it could be a lot for some people. So I remember just sitting down and like, okay, if you pack your stuff and you go back to Poland, that's in my head. That was a failure.
Speaker 1:Like I failed and it's not necessarily the truth, because I was so hard on myself and all my dreams, what. And I sat down I was like, what kind of solution can we, can we come up with here? And you know it was okay. Like your green card is in mail, you technically can apply for work permit, so let's get on this. Let's that's called the lawyer, let's get on this so you can start getting money going. And I picked up another shift bartending, so that kind of helped me a lot. I just like you know I was very dependent on her, you know financially, emotionally, all of that. And so when she left, it's almost like I was like what the hell am I doing myself, like I can't survive on Long Island by myself. I had such limited beliefs and such a low self-esteem. She also added to it, like because of cheating, like she kind of like dropped my self-esteem, dropped heavily.
Speaker 3:Did she cheat on you with men or women?
Speaker 1:Women. She's always been.
Speaker 3:Did it matter to you? Just ask.
Speaker 1:Well, she's always been gay. She's always like, ever since she was little, so she. I think she might have had one experience with one man.
Speaker 3:Do you think? But I'm just asking not to sidetrack but, I'm just wondering more so like if, like you had a partner and they cheated on you and like it was, well, it would be with woman if she cheated on. Well, I'm just saying though, like if they were bi or so or whatever, or like what would hurt me more?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like, if you had a guy and then, like you know, he cheated on you with another dude, would that hurt you more than a girl?
Speaker 1:I think it would be if that person's bi, it would be equal. But if like, obviously, and she Jesus I mentioned her name. Anyway, she my ex my ex that we're talking about. She always, always been gay and you know, if she went to cheat on with a guy I would laugh. Probably it wouldn't bother me at all because, like I, that's yeah, we wouldn't matter.
Speaker 3:No, I wouldn't Like but I'm saying it wouldn't matter in the sense of like yeah, like that, Like what are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing yeah?
Speaker 1:Like if, but if you cheated with the woman, that's like a big deal. It's funny because my friends were like, oh, who did she cheat on with it on you with, and another girl? And I'm like, yeah, well, that doesn't matter. I'm like think about what you're saying, like she's always been gay, so obviously that's, that's who she's going to go for and she cheated with the guy I would like I hope he didn't like break your shit down there, you know what I mean, cause you haven't had that in so long.
Speaker 3:Like who you know. It's like I pegged him the entire night. Yeah, what you got. I put the cheater up on. Yeah, I'm dead.
Speaker 1:I'm dead. But yeah, that was the time when I was like the most bro, like the most scared and broke and ready to just give up, because I stopped believing in that American dream that I put in my head years ago and it became like an American nightmare. And then I slowly started taking small steps in action, cause, at the end of the day, I'm a fighter and, even though my self esteem was very low, I still believe that I can get past it, and I did, you know. Then my online beauty opportunity came around out of nowhere and I started, you know, building an income online where, like, I didn't even have to go to work to to start making money. So that's when, when things started being serious.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's how it's changed and, like the networking that came with the business and the community that came with the business and traveling and all that stuff I started, I've started just meeting great people with a growth mindset and they've put me in contact with proper people and then you know, now we're here.
Speaker 1:So I'm glad I never gave up, because I think I would regret if I was home by like now. If I moved back home seven years ago when that happened, I probably would have regret the decision. So I'm glad that I stuck to my God and I stuck to my so are we very proud of you, right, victor.
Speaker 2:I would have been here, if I did God damn right. Let's go, let's go yeah.
Speaker 3:All right.
Speaker 1:So I think that was the like, the low low for me. And then ever since that moment, I've learned not to put any, not to be dependable on anyone. It's a good thing and a bad thing at the same time, because I I almost feel like I'm too independent and it it kind of pushes away sometimes people like guys because they're like, oh, what can I offer her?
Speaker 2:Like she has it all figured out you know so.
Speaker 1:But I know that there is a man that like out there that will want to build together. You know, and will let me be that, you know, in my masculine energy outside of home and because I do run a business and I do have a team and I, you know, I am someone who, like, not dictates, because I don't, I'm not a boss to anyone, I'm a leader. So I, I, I help people find their dreams and I help them find the pathway to reach the dreams. But you know, I am in my masculine energy If it comes to the things I am an expert in. So I want someone who is going to be okay with me to be that masculine here and there but, like, when I come home, I want to be a princess.
Speaker 1:Well you know what I think you need? I don't think feminine energy, please, yeah.
Speaker 3:I think you need two men to do that. So yeah, so you might. Yeah, it could be like the you know reverse Mormon kind of shit. She's like I got all my men working right now. She's like, ah, got a little farm over there.
Speaker 2:You know yeah. Who said there has to be like one man and two women relationships.
Speaker 1:Let's make one woman, two men relationship.
Speaker 3:Yeah, come on, let's.
Speaker 1:it's 2024 very modern kind of relationship. I love this idea.
Speaker 3:Can you imagine that thought? I'm waiting for that day. I think cause I've seen some dudes pull off like, yeah, I got these two girls married and, like you know, it's just like I was like nope, I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1:I can't share my meat, my meat only, my meat only. I can't do it. I'm too old school for that, like I can't know. Yeah, I've been asked if I would be okay.
Speaker 3:I feel tired. I feel tired. What Eiffel Tower? Yeah, Pretty much I've been asked okay.
Speaker 1:I feel like you would. I'm just curious, though.
Speaker 2:I'm just like, yeah, that's a yes.
Speaker 1:That's a yes. Okay, that's fair. I've been asked to be, in a relationship with, like people that are already in a relationship with, and I'm like what I don't know, like how is that going to work? Like one girl is going to get jealous over the other girl and she's like never, it never is a good idea. I feel like I don't think we're there yet as, as you know, society I mean, I'm sure it works for some people now, but I don't know.
Speaker 1:I believe in this like Romeo and Juliet kind of shit, so yeah. I do believe that there are people meant for each other. I don't believe, maybe, that everything is forever. I don't think that's a thing. I think every person that enters your life has like a certain timeframe that they're there for, and they there is a reason why they're there for it. They're either your lesson or you know, or they're there to be there for the longest time, right, but nothing lasts forever. I've learned that and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 3:You hear that, vic, what your marriage's got time there.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 3:Listen, it's as long as you work on it. Don't fuck up as long as you're active on it no, never.
Speaker 1:As long as you're right, Victor, like as long as both parties work on this mutually and you guys grow on like you grow on your own and you grow as a couple, then it all will work out. But not enough people wanna do that anymore and it's pretty sad.
Speaker 3:I'm sure you'll find some. Oh no, I'm not worried, I'm not like pressed.
Speaker 1:I'm living my best life right now, so you know. But speaking of just like experiences and relationships, I think everyone comes in for a reason and sometimes you are the blessing that they've been begging for you know, or like praying for, tell them, tell them, tell them, tell them. Yeah, I do.
Speaker 3:I'm a blessing. You're welcome.
Speaker 1:I'm that bitch.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there you go. I'm that bitch Shit Laila.
Speaker 1:No, I would never but.
Speaker 3:Oh, you should.
Speaker 1:No, I'm too humble for that. I know what to bring to the table.
Speaker 3:It's crazy Like some people are that humble. I do believe that. And then some people are like Muhammad Ali.
Speaker 1:I'm the greatest. I just don't think I have to say it out loud. I think people know. So, oh shit, they do. I mean I know what to bring to the table and I mean tell me if I'm wrong. Like when I come in to the room.
Speaker 3:I should have to tell you that, like you know it already, like what the fuck is my opinion matter at this point?
Speaker 1:And she's like oh, dad, no, I just, I don't know.
Speaker 3:Which two cents to Polina.
Speaker 1:Shut up, Laila? No, but I just know I brighten every room. I know that every time I walk in my intentions are pure. I just want to genuinely meet people, connect with people.
Speaker 1:Good energy, no hate, no judgment. But I do much energy though. So if someone gives me bad vibes at first I will kind of like ignore you. I'm like I don't have time for this. I like nope, negativity, go up, like go away. But if you continue like kind of coming at me, then I will match the energy. Don't know if that's right or wrong, but that's how my daddy raised me and he's like listen, if someone punches you, better fucking go and punch twice. So that's how I am, so I can be the sweetest, the most kind person and the most respectful person. But if you want to test me and you get a warning to not test me and you continue testing me, then you're just asking for it and yeah, you're going to get it. The Polish claws are going to come out, raa, at least he's like rar.
Speaker 3:No, no, it's honestly, it's nice to see a woman with such value in herself. Thank you, it really is. I hope my niece and I honestly.
Speaker 1:Center to my school.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I just feel my niece will grow up to be that, and that's what I, you know, for the women around me. I always hope that, but you know it's not for everybody, unfortunately.
Speaker 1:I think it's growth personal growth and how much time you put into, just kind of, like I said before connecting with yourself and discovering who you are. When you know who you are, you also know what you bring to the table. You know what you want from life. You know what you want from relationships, friendships and romantic relationships, and you also know what you don't want. But you need to reflect on it, and I feel like a lot of us go through the motions and every day is just like another day routine, but like do you reflect on everything that happens to you? You know, do you actually take a moment to analyze, like, why did this happen to me, right? Like what could have I done differently? Or what can I do differently the next time?
Speaker 1:So I believe it does take a lot of everybody can reach that point. It does take a lot of time, though, to end a lot of personal like growth, podcasts, books, reading, just trying to figure out who you really are, you know, studying your personality. I've done a lot of work and I am grateful that I did, because, yeah, I scare away these motherfuckers that can't handle me. So then there's like 2% maybe of them that will be able to handle me not only handle me, but thrive with me. You know we're going to move mountains together and make money moves and family moves and all the good stuff.
Speaker 3:Sometimes I wonder if like because I've had girls with your mindset, which they're lovely, but sometimes it's yeah, but sometimes it's like it's not even on you, victor's laughing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not even on you, it's more just like.
Speaker 3:just like. Like I wouldn't text At some point, like I'm just like so in myself, like I'm selfish. I know that I really.
Speaker 1:Nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 3:There is. There is like because there's a balance to it all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, of course.
Speaker 3:But I'm just selfish to the point. I'm just like I will let a relationship pass me if I like, if you don't want to text me Because you're not ready.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, I'm just like it's fine, it's fine, it's whatever that's literally the answer Like, see, but I've never been selfish and I am because to me it's like such a bad thing, right, like my mom has always taught me, like, as long as your family is taken care of, you're good and I love her to death and she's an angel sent from God. She really is Like if anyone that come across my mom gets their soul gets touched and you never will forget my mom, but I do. Throughout my self-discovery journey, I've learned that you're the most important person. So I'm learning to be selfish now and I've announced that to my friends. Like about three months ago, after going through the breakup and, you know, trying to lift myself up again, I was like you guys don't take it personally, but I will be selfish with my time. So, with that being said, if you invite me to your party and I will let you know that I'm not going to come, don't take it personally. I just don't want to fucking come. I love you to death.
Speaker 1:But, like, I want to go skiing and I should be okay, and it should be okay for me to go skiing, you know, and I've always had that guilt of people pleasing, because my mom always taught me oh, make sure everyone around you is good. Whatever you do Like. If you do good to the world, the good comes back. Not necessarily always true. I still believe in it. But you know, I want to be me. I want, if I want, to go and do something else, and maybe my friends might not agree with it, but I feel like I need to do it, I'm going to do it, and so I'm learning to be selfish. So I don't always think that that's a bad thing, you know, and you might just not be ready to enter any relationship. I'm definitely not ready. I'm enjoying my single life right now. I don't have to come, like you know, ask for permission. I don't have to tell people where I am, what I do, but I'll tell you when I am in relationship.
Speaker 1:Not much changes in terms of like I like. I hate controlling people because I'm such a free-spirited person. I hate when people tell me no. Now there's a difference, though, because I always get asked. So, like what?
Speaker 1:So why are you in a relationship? Like? You guys just can do whatever the fuck you want? I'm like Technically, yeah, because if I'm deciding and choosing to pick you as my partner, I have trust in you. So if you want to do something. I trust you that you're going to know to have a balance and not disrespect me. So now I believe that everyone knows what's right or wrong. Maybe not everyone does, but I come from again a strict school when I was little, so I know what is right and what is wrong, and that you have to put all the people's emotions sometimes in front of yours, because just put yourself in somebody else's shoes and I don't think everybody can do that. Recently I've discovered that. But it's good to kind of put your emotions aside and try to see where that person is coming from when you guys are having conversation, like let's say, for instance, I love to dance, I love to dance.
Speaker 1:So, just dance, like I can dance salsa, bachata, merengue, like all this Spanish stuff. But I just love to dance and move my body. I come from a very artsy family. My mom used to dance. My mom used to sing to me, even when she was pregnant with me. So like I sing, I dance. I got a bunch of like athletic scales from my dad's side, so there's a lot going on. So I love to dance and I've always dated people that for the first time they didn't like to dance, so they would try to stop me from like going out to the like. Let's say, we would be outside somewhere with live music and I would go and dance and obviously guys are going to look at me right, and these men that I dated were super insecure.
Speaker 3:You noticed that confidence right? Okay, yeah, I like that. Oh my God, I like that. Yeah, let's go. I can't hide it.
Speaker 2:I can't hide it.
Speaker 3:That's a different confidence, but I would go for the. Yeah, she got it. She, that bitch, oh my God.
Speaker 1:No, no, I've always been like blamed for just being me and I'm like I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just out there dancing and if you don't like dancing, that's not my fucking problem. It's like I want you to come and dance with me. You're my person, so it would actually make me happy if you, maybe if we went to learn how to dance, to get like go on dancing lessons and stuff. Like there's always a solution, but don't limit me because you don't like doing what I like to do and I hated that in relationship. Like that makes me feel trapped, so I don't like to control anyone. So if you like doing something that like saying gaming like you know you like gaming and I think gaming is a waste of time, doesn't matter Like going, do you what?
Speaker 3:Do you?
Speaker 1:Like gaming, I like watching. Okay, that's like I'll watch and I'll be like invested, but it gives me, like gaming gives me, anxiety, like I can't yeah, like like Call of Duty, forget it I'll literally scream the whole time. I'll probably break the fucking. Oh, okay, I just play Super Mario.
Speaker 3:I was just like, yeah, wait, those are not. Like what? No, get out of here, get out of here. Okay, I'm going to have to put a pause and a break.
Speaker 1:Like soon enough. No, these are like silly games I can play, yeah, but I'm talking about like Call of Duty, like serious stuff. I don't know Traumatizing.
Speaker 3:I feel like I'm being insulted. I don't know how to take this one right here.
Speaker 1:Oh, stop it. But you know, if you want, if you like to game, go and game. Like, just don't neglect your relationship. Everything is a balance. I think everybody should be doing whatever they love and maybe maybe introduce your partner to what you like. Maybe they need to understand a little bit more of what your hobby is. Hobby is hobby, Jesus.
Speaker 3:Hobby.
Speaker 1:I got to ask Victor this.
Speaker 3:How do you control your wife?
Speaker 2:By not controlling her. Victor, how do you advise your wife? We have a pretty, I would say. Our relationship is where we tend to negotiate a lot, so we are she both strong spirited people in different ways, so most things are always like. So the one thing I always say is like we always got to communicate. If you don't like something to say to my face, because I'm never going to guess, I'm done. I'm not going to pick up on your cues, and vice versa. And so we've definitely had our disagreements, but we've always been able to come to a point where at least we both understand each other's point of view.
Speaker 2:That's good and then come to some form of like. Okay, if we're thinking of this logically, this approach, out of everything we're considering, regardless of what like, you, dislike, I dislike and stuff, it's like we need to figure out what works for us because, at the end of the day, now we're one, because I believe in marriage you become a unit, you are one person. I agree with you a lot on the about old mindset, stuff like that.
Speaker 2:I'm kind of traditional too, but so we agree on that. So it's like everything we forge now is our way. So yes, there's going to be different things from my way and different things from your way. We're going to disagree on old things. Sure, I'm ready to put all of it past me, but I'm ready to develop a new way that we both agree.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're going to have a new way together. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And sometimes you're forging the new way head-boding, but you can get to a place of consensus as long as both people are interested in making things work and grow from there and you're able to admit like, okay, it has to be mutual effort.
Speaker 1:That's it. Like the, you know, I've been in. Really I was pulling my hair out by myself and then the other person was like just kind of taking me for granted because I'm a good and loyal woman and I'm not going anywhere, you know. So I haven't been that lucky. So congratulations to you guys. It's a lot of work.
Speaker 3:Oh, you should hear their love story. It's fucking crazy. He tells it terribly but literally it's a A1 story. I keep telling them that that should be a movie Like. But don't tell her the story, bro.
Speaker 2:You're ruining your own story. You want to tell it.
Speaker 3:I'll revise it Just so I can refine it a little bit better, just because your story is really beautiful. I love, that it's just one perseverance and just true love, just like you know and I hope they don't get the voice, but you know- but you know chances are if you six percent. I don't want to put that on. Nobody really See.
Speaker 1:I feel like are the statistics in America that we were talking about? Yeah, because anyone just first to fucking get married, like, and I don't think people understand how serious the marriage and the vows are and this is what I mean when you come from like a family that's traditional and with rules and morals and specific, like upbringing from generation to generation. Like, to me, marriage is like the highest, like achievement in a relationship oh, maybe not the highest, but one of the highest. Like if I am marrying you, like we're in this shit forever you know what I mean. Like we're not going nowhere, so ride or die, no matter what kind of thing. And you know what's crazy, I give that treatment to guys that don't even marry me yet.
Speaker 3:Wow, so that's just like a revelation right there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, no, no more. I kind of like backed out. It's funny because, like I've always been just that wifey, without the actual ring and marriage, and the recent guy that I was talking to, after my very recent relationship that was over three years long, you know, I finally put the guard up and I was just like you know, I'm going to take it easy, I'm not going to give him everything that I normally would and see how that's going to go. And he was, he was pissed, he was just like you know. Oh, so you've given all these guys 100% of you, but you can't give me 100% of you.
Speaker 1:Now I'm like, well, clearly this shit didn't work out for me, so I need to start doing things differently. And, with all honesty, you know, I'm still giving you 70%, which is a lot. You know, from the beginning I feel like, and then you you're supposed to peel that onions little by little, like I think it would be boring if everyone gave, give each other like 100% of each other. I've like, what are you going to learn down the road? Like I don't know.
Speaker 3:I don't know what your thoughts on that. Like, Vic, your story. Like did you and your wife give it 100%?
Speaker 2:in the beginning. No, that's funny because the way you said that, that's pretty much how we started. But before that I had also a four year relationship and everything, and the one before that I was also cheated on speaking from before.
Speaker 3:But for motherfuckers.
Speaker 1:Literally the most kind person yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, I ended it on the phone call when she admitted it to me like, right there, I'm like you know, it's over. What a man.
Speaker 3:That's all. That's a gig of chat. I kind of broke up too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I did.
Speaker 2:And that's funny because in that one I gave her a chance because she admitted to me prior. It's like, oh, we ended up kissing blah, blah, blah. I was like, okay, you're willing to get past this. And then she admitted on Christmas to a second time. And then I was like, okay, that was it. But when we first started dating, I remember I immediately learned, just after that prior relationship, I needed to set my boundaries, because I was too much of a people pleaser and that in itself giving so much creates a toxic environment, because people don't, they just they've stepped all over you, because they don't know where your boundaries are.
Speaker 2:They have no idea where it is and then. So I learned that on myself and I established that right away. And then into our relationship, elisa told me she's like you know, one of the things that really made me think you were different and fall in love with you was that you were the first guy that I met that actually had proper boundaries from the day I met you and because normally I would be the one who will go and find how many buttons I can press until and then and if guys would let me, and then I would get bored because it's like okay, like I could do whatever I want, there's no right.
Speaker 2:You were the first one to basically like be a man and just say it's like oh no, this is where everything is, you know, like boundaries. I need you to communicate. I'm not guessing stuff like that.
Speaker 1:Good, let me ask you which? Which dates did you like vocalize your boundaries Like? Was it on the first date, right away, or was it like down the road?
Speaker 2:I think it was as our communication developed. Like as we were, different topics came up. It was just more natural. I know on the very first date I was just upfront about communication being as transparent as possible.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because I feel like that was just the biggest struggle for me. So, but everything else, it just slowly came up as we went.
Speaker 1:That's good.
Speaker 2:Like like one example. I mean, we didn't really even get intimate until like two months into the relationship.
Speaker 1:Good, I have another topic.
Speaker 3:Oh, I got to do my Robert Nero face. No, no, all right, go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 1:So maybe a lot of women I mean, I hope a lot of women can relate to this. So there's a. So you know how you like go on a date for the first time and some guys would be like, well, if she doesn't sleep with me right away, then like, how do I know if I even like her and why would I go on and add the date and spend money on someone that, like, I wouldn't even like, I didn't even have sex with? Like sex is such a big part of relationships nowadays. And I don't know about other women, maybe you girls can tell me.
Speaker 1:But if I like you, let's say we're having a first date. Obviously I don't know a lot about you. Let's say, let's say this is a first date ever, I'm definitely not sleeping with you. There's just no fucking way. If I know you as a friend for a long time and we're going to first date and we I know enough of you, I still won't sleep with you. If I like you to the point that I see myself in the future with you, does this make sense? So like, for instance, if I go on a date and everything goes great and smooth. But I know that you've said a couple of things that I will never be able to get past, because they're just like I voted for Trump, not negotiables for me.
Speaker 1:I will potentially sleep with you because it's going to be like a one night stand and you're never going to see me again. But if we were on the first date and I hear everything that I kind of need to hear and your actions back up your words, I'm not sleeping with you until probably like fifth or sixth date. Like that's my rule. That's something because and I like not a lot of guys understand it so like I remember talking to my buddy about it, he's like so what this loser who you're not going to be with is gets the chance to sleep with you.
Speaker 3:Every guy you do is an Italian construction worker, I don't know what. Can we assume what you're like yo Okay? I don't know why I say that I will say this much on that, from my experience at the very least, and it's been beautiful on both sides, because I've been with women that I've slept with on the first day and I've stayed with them, and because it was just beautiful.
Speaker 3:I love the conversation that we had, just the connection that we had. Maybe we developed a little bit further because we were talking just online or in text, and then we met up and that's what sort of spurred on, because I've also been in situations where it's like one night and I was like yeah, like cause there's no real connection, so it's just fucking and then going Okay, cool, cool, cool.
Speaker 3:But there's also been situations where a girl has told me is like I'm not going to have sex with you until like the fourth date, which to me I've never, but I never had an issue with that.
Speaker 3:I'm never like if, if you were just, but at least to me I was like the fourth date, okay Cool, like at least we get to know each other. And then like, then I get to ask again, like, or just feel it out. Feel it out, yeah, like if this is going to be worth it to me, or if it's not Right and it's just like. But it was just more. I already felt the connection there with her where I was just like like I can wait this, I don't care about sex.
Speaker 1:Like sex is cool. So do you? Do you judge a woman if she sleeps with you on the first date? No, no. See, like a lot of my guy friends that I talked to they, they it's just like, I'm like, it's almost, it's like, oh, she like gave in so quickly, so like like the value the woman loses a little bit of value in their eyes. I was just curious because I don't know. Guys, obviously there's a reason why women and guys are guys.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I can't speak for every guy Like I can only speak for myself, victor.
Speaker 1:What would you say, like if, if, if a chick sleeps with you, well, obviously you're married. But I'm saying, like before, that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, when you were a player, you know you were smashing.
Speaker 2:I will say this I'm probably not the greatest example of your typical guy, because I've never slept with a woman that I wasn't already in a relationship with.
Speaker 1:Usually usually, that's why it's a good Christian boy. That's why he's a good boy. I love that. I love that. Yeah, this is crazy yeah.
Speaker 3:But for me, like I, I would say it's just like I don't think at least you shouldn't judge a woman Like if she sleeps with you. It's like you should be grateful and like you should be happy, like a guest is attracted. Yeah, and you should want to be sleeping with people if you actually like that person at the same time, it's just like.
Speaker 3:That's that's where I can go back and just realize, like you know, like no judgment to any guy that like slept with prostitute or anything like or sex worker, but like when I I felt that I was like, oh, I can pay for this, but it just there's nothing there's nothing here Like, and it's like not to say I haven't had one night stands right. Where I just fucked and gone, but like at least it was like a hunt to put permanent, like you know.
Speaker 3:Just in terms yeah, exactly there was fun in it. But then you know, obviously there was no connection and that's why I was just like okay, I got split.
Speaker 1:Like what are we doing?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, but like for I think it's just matters if you really like that person and, like you said, like it's weird, it's just like when I like somebody, I don't mind giving 100% Like like you said Because maybe you're open to vulnerability. Not a lot of men are.
Speaker 1:They're all closed off.
Speaker 1:And this is like I really hope guys that listen to it. Please, please, please help yourself. Like any traumas you're dealing with, like go get help, because no, because it's like it's just helps so much in a relationship, holy shit, like the communication is so much better, but if you are bundling up, you know anger and you're dealing still with the past traumas, you're never gonna be able to be happy or full like by yourself, not even mentioning relationship, because you're not gonna know who you are until you like dive deeper and feel that pain and go through that pain. I feel like women are better at this. We understand when we go through a breakup, for instance, like we, I do not leave bed for a week and I'm just sitting there and driving myself crazy.
Speaker 1:It's not the healthiest way to heal, but we heal faster because we actually physically go through the pain, mentally and physically go through the pain and we analyze okay, what the heck happened? Do you know? Like, how can we learn from this? Yet men, typically speaking, like, generally speaking, you guys kind of like forget and go into alcohol, go into drugs, or just simply like oh, whatever, fuck this bitch you know, and then it hits you a month or two down the road when she's already healed. So what I'm saying is like it would be so helpful to see men actually be vulnerable, and the only way to be vulnerable is AKA give 100% to a female is to heal. Whatever you were dealing with in the past and how someone hurt you. Let me ask you this.
Speaker 3:Everyone needs to take responsibility for that. This might be my trauma here so let's invoke a little therapy for derelicts here so because every time like and I can say generally for most men also on this, because I've talked with men it's like when you're spanking it, like you go to your sperm bank and you're just like okay, we're like like.
Speaker 1:Like I'm thinking he's gonna give me some crazy traumatic experience, but anyway.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but like it's just more so, like you remember, back to your ex and like those like those times that you're just like in love with. Like you know, that night that was passionate and everything, and you just go in love yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So you just, at least for me. I think back to those nights, obviously, like just because it's like the best moments of my life, or high tier moments of my life, and not just like the sex. Yeah, obviously it was just like top tier and it's just like, but I don't think I've ever used it while I'm having sex. But I'm curious more on the female mind, if you even think about like an ex when you're having sex or like having a good time for yourself.
Speaker 1:So it depends. So, if it's something fresh, like if I just broke up with someone and I just need a rebound because, let's say, I haven't had sex in a while with my ex because things weren't right it actually happened to me where, like I felt guilty, like I was not thinking of my ex while that was happening, but I felt guilty because I wasn't healed. So it was like, yeah, technically we're not together, so I didn't cheat right, like you know it's been. At the time, I think it was like four weeks after I broke up, like I had my first sex with somebody else, but I felt like crap because I was like pulling out, you're not healed.
Speaker 3:Like I didn't always oh shit, no, not with the guy.
Speaker 1:No, no, no no.
Speaker 3:Have you ever cried like having sex?
Speaker 1:From the orgasm? Yes, what. Yes, that I've never done that Not like hysterically, your bitch is just like yeah, I'm doing all night, it's every night, Like whoa, what the fuck Do we have camera and Victor every night? We do, we do.
Speaker 3:Like why is this man over here, just not in like yeah, I'm doing every night, Just like I've never been in a real crime with an orgasm. Is that normal?
Speaker 1:Is that like? I mean, I don't know, I have not heard of that. No, that might be too much, yeah, too much.
Speaker 2:Let's just keep it there in relation private. I only ask what you want to know.
Speaker 3:I'll ask have you? Ever had that happen to you, that'd be better. Yes, what?
Speaker 1:Let's go. Victor's game is strong. It's not common though, but I've seen it Really.
Speaker 3:So what have you ever had a man cry on you? No, oh Jesus, would you be?
Speaker 1:able to handle that. Imagine I would be like are you okay? I'll be so confused probably, but like no, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I had a woman drool like just orgasm, but yeah, geez, yeah, but I cry. I was like I was not crying.
Speaker 1:It's like it's tearing up kind of. So it feels so good, all sensations are awake. I don't know how to explain it, but it just feels so good where you, your soul, leaves your body.
Speaker 3:You know, sometimes I wish I could just experience sex as a woman, just to see what it's like, Just the feeling, the way you excre like. For me it's just like oh okay, I got clean and full mess. That's really right, dude.
Speaker 2:Like the way you describe it is just like oh, oh.
Speaker 1:It happened to me five times in my life, though that's it, the holy orgasm.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just like yeah.
Speaker 1:So, like you guys definitely have better experiences more often For me, I cried maybe five times in my 29 years?
Speaker 3:Were they like the best orgasms, or were they? Yeah, oh shit.
Speaker 1:Because it's not just having sex, it's an emotional connection with someone.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so you're just struggling to like your like-shaking orgasm yes. Oh then I've done that, but I've never done that. Well, because it's like your body.
Speaker 1:you don't have control over your body. I'm telling you, your soul is leaving your body. So you're just like sitting there. You're like holy fucking shit I'm just having. So you can have shaky legs, you can cry. There is women who just like can't speak, like they're just laying there like holy shit, you know, but yeah, I did cry.
Speaker 3:Have you ever spoken in a different language like just orgasm?
Speaker 2:See, it's not.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'm Polish, so yeah, I've done that and then the guys were like holy shit, Like she tells me more.
Speaker 3:She possessed Telling me no, they would be like oh my god, I was hot, my dick is so good Like if.
Speaker 1:I could yep. No, that's good it has to be a strong-ass connection with that person, though, for me to for that happen and for this to happen, and yeah, it's great, it's great, but yeah, no, I never had a guy Just said look bro, it's great, but yeah so. I've never answering your questions. I never, I never think of my exes when I have sex. No, if anything, I would think.
Speaker 3:But like how about when you masturbate, then?
Speaker 1:No, really, you don't, you just?
Speaker 3:go into like what porn? Or just your imagination.
Speaker 1:No, so I don't need to masturbate at all, to be honest. But if I, let's say, like I have someone who I'm talking to from another state, like I'll just think of that person when I masturbate.
Speaker 2:You know, but like I don't really have the need to masturbate.
Speaker 1:I don't know if it's weird, but you know I'm such a happy person just in general. I feel like I don't have, even though I'm super sexual. I am with the right person, though, of course, like for me it's connection, that's what makes me sexual, and like wanting that If I don't have a connection with the men, like I don't really need to masturbate to like release emotions or like I think that's more menly thing to do than for females.
Speaker 3:Trust me, it's not. It's literally just on the computer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but like there's a reason why, you need that Like for stress relief, I'm assuming, yeah.
Speaker 3:I think you can weigh in on this one, but I just feel like, as much as I do masturbate and watch porn, I do feel like it's probably a negative in my because I don't then use any resources to oh, let me go find a girl. Granted, I'm not looking. Right but at the same time, do you think it's good for men to masturbate so often? Not so often, I think it's like too much of a what's often to you.
Speaker 2:Let's go with that first. Well, I'll say this have you ever read? Think and Grow Rich.
Speaker 1:I started, I have not finished the book, so there's an actual chapter about sexual energy and how the greatest people have you.
Speaker 2:That's actually a fuel source for innovation, because it is an energy source. So people who don't put that into an ambition or something like that, then you need to release it somehow and then usually you just go into yourself and or pursue women or different things like that and not to say that is not a bad outlet from time to time, but we do tend to have a lot of it, so you could always drive that into a more positive avenue.
Speaker 3:There, you go, my bad. Are you wearing the Vision Maker hoodie during this whole podcast so far?
Speaker 1:yes, I love that hoodie Lesson.
Speaker 3:we're wrapping this shit, I love it. I love it. I was just like, yeah, probably not the best hoodie, not the best hoodie for this. Right now I get to say it was going to change right.
Speaker 2:Oh you know what? I have the greatest shirt under this for this podcast. It'll be kind of hysterical. It's called Tenny Bones. It's my friend's burger company.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that.
Speaker 3:OK well, let's rock with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, rock that stuff.